Aha – a misunderstanding. It was November 2006 and the very nice young man on the other end of the telephone was telling me that I would not be sent a Tax Return, it was all a mistake. He was very sorry and I must ignore the letter I’d received telling me I must start filling these damnable, irritating, extremely long forms in. Well, that’s one worry off my mind then.
Think again!!!!
A few weeks later the dreaded weighty envelope dropped through my letterbox and correspondingly raised my blood pressure. I tried in vain, for many weeks, to find out why they had sent it. No one would give me an answer. One very rude young lady told me I didn’t need to know why I’d been sent one, the fact that I had been meant that I was required by law, under penalty of imprisonment, to complete it and send it back. She hung up on me when I tried to communicate with her in language she would understand - words of one syllable.
I was finally told, after many weeks of frustrating phone calls that the wheels had been set in motion because I’d written a book. I was very nearly speechless, especially as seven months earlier I had submitted all my P60s because there was a PAYE tax refund due to me. At that time I was required to sign a form of disclosure to confirm that I’d declared all my income. Knowing all about Back Duty, I had declared on this form that I had written a book, published it POD but expenses were far in excess of sales. Asking if this needed to be declared could I offset the losses against PAYE income? I never received a reply; instead, they sent me a weighty tax refund on my PAYE income.
But back to November 2006. I arrived home from work at 7pm one Friday evening to find yet another communication from the Revenue; telling me that I needed to register my self-employment with the NI Cont people as Class 2 contributions would be due!! I rang the telephone number and was told that I should have registered self-employed as soon as I started writing my book!!!!! That was 20 years ago!!!!! So, a deal was struck. I was to register from the date I had the book published and close “the business” down on the date I made my last sale. I explained I still had about 70 copies gathering dust in my spare room but he said I shouldn’t mention those to anyone. He explained that he would raise an assessment for Class 2 NI contributions and that when I received it I must ring him back and claim Exception on grounds of low income (duurr…NO income). WHAT A WASTE OF EVERYBODY’S TIME – WHY RAISE AN ASSESSMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! Later that evening I rang the Revenue helpline to ask AGAIN (for the n'th time) whether losses on self employment could be set against PAYE income. I was categorically told No, never, no, not under any circumstances. NO!!
Completing the Tax Return was the nearest thing I’ve come in a long time to feeling like my finger nails were being pulled out. It was excruciatingly painful and frustrating. It came accompanied by volumes of instructions that MUST be read before completing the Tax Return. I duly obliged and was glad I did -here it was in plain text. Yes, you can claim s/e losses against PAYE income!!! So, spurred on by the thought of more tax refunds coming my way, I set myself the task of completing the Return over Christmas. Alas it was still lying on the table goading me by the time 2007 arrived. So, on New Years Day I finally decided I’d get this monkey off my back once and for all – so that’s how I spent the first day of 2007. The first question was “What is the name of your business?” Excuse me!!! I don’t have a business. “What is the address of your business?” I DON’T HAVE A BUSINESS!!!! In the evening, exhausted, I went online to submit it. I was perilously close to the deadline and don't have much faith in Snail Mail. The website is frustratingly cluttered and the instructions are not clear for Tax Return virgins. Ah, you have to register first. So I did that only to be informed by annoyingly small type that I had to wait a week to get a pin number through the post before I could submit online. By this time my blood pressure was so high my ears were steaming and the whisky bottle lay empty on the floor. Again I had to retreat, defeated.
For the next five days I ripped open every letter that landed on my doormat. I was desperate to end this awful agony. Finally it arrived and I laboriously transcribed my paper record into electronic format – no the online form IS NOT set out the same as the paper version. Anyway, the computer calculated that I was due a further repayment. With expenses (all supported by receipts but not itemised on the Tax return) far exceeding the book sales I expected to get further communications from them. How wrong I was. Within two days they had credited my bank account with the additional refund. Amazing. They harass me and threaten me for four months, they lie to me and treat me with total disrespect, only to give me money at the end of it all. It sure is a crazy system they operate. Three months later, after a lengthy investigation funded by my money, the Complaints Department assured me that they had reprimanded the girl who had been so rude to me.
Submitting the 2006/2007 Return hasn't been so painful as I had all my paperwork and receipts prepared. Within 2 days of submitting online, my account was credited with yet another refund.
I’m planning to write another book ASAP. This one though, will require a lot of research and will probably involve travel to Mexico and Peru in order to check out my facts.
Looks like there’ll be another big refund next year then :-)
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